The first thing that I've decided needs adjustment is tabulating screen hours by week instead of by day, because there are some days when I go over 3 hours and there's no way to compensate for it later.
I fantasize about living in a cute, little farmhouse on a bunch of property somewhere beautiful. Somewhere like Mamu's. When I think of how she lived out the last 25 years of her life I picture a very Walden existence. Quiet, peaceful, maybe a little lonely. Lots of gardening, long walks in the woods, very little tv on a very little tv set. She fed the birds and the deer. She had a wonderful wooded path to the side. Swimming in the pool. Fires in the winter, I think there are three fireplaces, but definitely two. I wish I had known her better. There was so much that she told me, so much I don't remember, and so much I never knew to begin with. But she lived through so much, knew so many important people, and was well respected everywhere she went. There are so many things I would have asked her with just five more years under my belt, and a marriage, and a son. "Tell me about your life, Mamu, tell me everything. Let me know you." The human experience is so singular and yet so universal. It's fascinating, but the only record there is of our lives is the one we leave behind. These blogs and my journals and my photographs will be the only actual record of me. I'll leave behind the things of life, the pieces that archaeologists or anthropologists or whoever would use to construct an idea about me after I'm gone, whether by a day or a thousand years or more. They would see me clothes, my books, the things I cook with and eat off of, my movies, my electronics, my treasured possessions. What conclusions would they draw? And, no matter what, how well can we really know another person, especially without having known them and spent a significant amount of time in their presence?
Our thoughts are our own. They are what make us unique, that no one else can know the pathways our neurons are making that lead us to the conclusions and actions that we make. Ultimately we're all alone. This ended somewhere much different than where it started.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Yes, I have a problem
It has come to my attention that I might be an addict. The internet seems to have claimed my life, mind, and soul. I bet if I had a timer logging when I was actually using my computer each day, the number of hours it claims would be eyeopening. If you combine that with a timer on my tvs it may just be brutal. There's web browsing, emails, movies, music, and, of course, the dreaded sucker of monumental amounts of time: Facebook. I am on FB constantly. It annoys me when people are out having lives and not posting about it! And sometimes I feel like nothing that I do is real or validated unless there is a public record of it, whether it's a FB status update or a picture. I was born to the generation of computer users, those whose parents used prehistoric computers for work or college (also technically work) and passed on what would become the pervasiveness of computers to their children. Is this for better or worse?
Certainly our ability to communicate with others, procure things, and "network" has increased. Through social networking sites we are able to keep track of people with a click of the cursor, and I definitely appreciate being able to stay that connected with people who probably would have fallen by the wayside eventually. If making a phone call is too much effort to stay in touch, letter writing is almost certainly a remnant of a bygone era. But are we missing something? Sure, we are "connected" with more people than we might have been able to be before, but so much of this communication is now one way. We don't actually have to talk to people to stay in touch! Just read their FB feed and you know everything you need to without ever having to be in contact with that person at all!
The television runs almost constantly in my house. It's not always about watching something, a lot of the time it's just about having something on in the background because I am a technology addict as well and if there aren't invisible electric waves bombarding my brain I get dizzy. But how often do we lose precious minutes of our life watching something just because it's there? And my use of the computer encompasses a majority of useless, frivolous things that just waste time. I guess that's the key phrase: wasting time. I don't want to waste time anymore. Before television people had to use their heads and invent and experiment and theorize and write so they wouldn't be bored (well, some people did anyway). Now we have hundreds of thousands, millions even, of types of virtual entertainment so we don't have to think.
When I think of how much men like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were able to learn in their lifetimes I know I need to step away from my addiction and live a healthier life. There are so many things that I want to have time for, but usually I wind up sacrificing one for another, and considering how much time there would seem to be to gain by giving up electronics I would hope that with severe limitations on my virtual activity that I will be able to do more of the many things I hope to accomplish.
Some of these things may be over the top, but they are all things I want to do.
I want to have a reading list I actually stick to.
I want to actually have the time to write and write seriously!
I have many, many home improvement/decorating projects that really just have to get done, the sooner the better. It's easy to get overwhelmed.
I have arts and crafts I want to get done, and unfortunately bought all the supplies in advance.
I want to cook healthier and more often, from scratch, because I always enjoy it when I do.
There are video games I want to play, and I don't play any because I'm so busy without many large chunks of free time, when I get any (but always have some for the internet).
I have math and science I want to relearn.
I want to learn foreign languages.
I have traveling I'd like to accomplish, there are a lot of fun things to do around here.
Exercising regularly, including walking with Hunter once or twice a day and getting the dogs to the dog park at least once a week.
So, my conclusion is that I need to stop wasting my time and limit myself. I'm going to set myself 3 hours of technology time per day, and that is any time anything is running. The tv must be off and the computer must be shut or the timer is running. I'll actually have to get good at timing myself. And we will see how this goes. It could be quite traumatic, but maybe a little enlightening. Instead of "Walden" I could write "Davie."
Certainly our ability to communicate with others, procure things, and "network" has increased. Through social networking sites we are able to keep track of people with a click of the cursor, and I definitely appreciate being able to stay that connected with people who probably would have fallen by the wayside eventually. If making a phone call is too much effort to stay in touch, letter writing is almost certainly a remnant of a bygone era. But are we missing something? Sure, we are "connected" with more people than we might have been able to be before, but so much of this communication is now one way. We don't actually have to talk to people to stay in touch! Just read their FB feed and you know everything you need to without ever having to be in contact with that person at all!
The television runs almost constantly in my house. It's not always about watching something, a lot of the time it's just about having something on in the background because I am a technology addict as well and if there aren't invisible electric waves bombarding my brain I get dizzy. But how often do we lose precious minutes of our life watching something just because it's there? And my use of the computer encompasses a majority of useless, frivolous things that just waste time. I guess that's the key phrase: wasting time. I don't want to waste time anymore. Before television people had to use their heads and invent and experiment and theorize and write so they wouldn't be bored (well, some people did anyway). Now we have hundreds of thousands, millions even, of types of virtual entertainment so we don't have to think.
When I think of how much men like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were able to learn in their lifetimes I know I need to step away from my addiction and live a healthier life. There are so many things that I want to have time for, but usually I wind up sacrificing one for another, and considering how much time there would seem to be to gain by giving up electronics I would hope that with severe limitations on my virtual activity that I will be able to do more of the many things I hope to accomplish.
Some of these things may be over the top, but they are all things I want to do.
I want to have a reading list I actually stick to.
I want to actually have the time to write and write seriously!
I have many, many home improvement/decorating projects that really just have to get done, the sooner the better. It's easy to get overwhelmed.
I have arts and crafts I want to get done, and unfortunately bought all the supplies in advance.
I want to cook healthier and more often, from scratch, because I always enjoy it when I do.
There are video games I want to play, and I don't play any because I'm so busy without many large chunks of free time, when I get any (but always have some for the internet).
I have math and science I want to relearn.
I want to learn foreign languages.
I have traveling I'd like to accomplish, there are a lot of fun things to do around here.
Exercising regularly, including walking with Hunter once or twice a day and getting the dogs to the dog park at least once a week.
So, my conclusion is that I need to stop wasting my time and limit myself. I'm going to set myself 3 hours of technology time per day, and that is any time anything is running. The tv must be off and the computer must be shut or the timer is running. I'll actually have to get good at timing myself. And we will see how this goes. It could be quite traumatic, but maybe a little enlightening. Instead of "Walden" I could write "Davie."
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